Sam proposed just before Christmas and I said yes, and we're thinking of getting married some time in late 2014. Most people have been happy for us but one of my friends has been dropping comments and saying things in conversation for some time which make it clear she thinks sam isn't right for me and I'm 'settling' so shouldn't be going through with it. The Problem is I think she's right that I'm 'settling' but completely wrong that this is a bad thing.

Also Read: CHEATING. 

    I'm absolutely sure I love sam, but I'm pretty sure I'm not 'in love' with him. He doesn't make my heart leap when I look at him, I don't feel like my life is suddenly worth living now I've 'found' him and I wouldn't want to die if he passed away. By the same token though I'd be very upset if I lost him, I have a very happy life with him and treasure having him. I just don't feel though that he's 'The One' or 'my everything' or feel some kind of earth-shattering overwhelming joy that I'm lucky enough to be in a relationship with him. I feel that we both get on well enough and have enough in common/enough interest in each other that we want to share our lives together but in another time on another day it could easily be someone else I was sharing my life with.

    I don't want to sound completely unromantic - I love romantic films and love the idea of finding someone so special that you couldn't even imagine being with anyone else, except that's a nice idea but there's no guarantee of it happening for me and I don't want to risk my current happiness on some vague possibility of much greater happiness. Same way winning the lottery would be amazing but I'm not going to spend our food budget on tickets just in case.

Also Read: SINGLE AND LOVING IT

    I had a long time on my own as a single parent and can honestly say I got to a point where I was happy being single and wasn't casting around for any man but I'm happier with sam than I was then so don't see the point in chucking him just to wait for 'Mr Right'. I could reel off lots of complaints about sam, like how getting him to notice housework needs doing is an endless struggle, but there's plenty of ways I'd be much worse off without him too. He's very gentle, gets on well with my  son (not his) and is willing to be a full and equal parent to him. I have health problems sam gives me support with and we're trying for another child which I want dearly and might not get the chance to have without him (am getting on a bit). Not trying to make it sound too one sided though, am not using sam for all these 'benefits', I put in just as much too, am just trying to say I feel I'd lose out in many ways by hanging out for 'The One'.

Also Read: COPING WITH BREAKUPS

    I can imagine many ways my life could be even better and some of them are up to me to make happen but some would automatically never happen by sticking with sam, but there's no guarantee they would if I left him. By my logic I'm making sam happy and he's making me happy (and both making my son happy as far as I can see) and we all seem to think we're better off with each other than without so what's the problem in wanting to stick with that rather than gamble it on the chance of something better coming along? (especially as I'm very loyal and take relationships seriously, it wouldn't be a case of me running off on sam in 10 years if someone that looked good turned up). 

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