“Love is sacrifice.” It’s the kind of relationship wisdom you hear in power ballads and read on Pinterest and see embroidered on throw pillows. But is it actually true? Is sacrificing your happiness for another person part of being in love?

Here’s one take on it: Sometimes, love requires sacrifice. But on the whole, love isn’t so much a sacrifice as it is a compromise.


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    No matter how compatible two people are or how much they have in common, they’re never going to agree 100% with each other all the time. They might agree 99.9% of the time, but there are inevitably going to be disagreements. Life isn’t always going to go smoothly. Sometimes, things out of your control come along. It’s when you disagree or hit a cosmic bump in the road that the need for sacrifices and compromises arises.

In its most literal sense, the phrase “love is sacrifice” suggests that you have to give things up if you want to be with the one you love. That certainly is true sometimes. For example, if your partner’s parent falls ill, they might want to move back home to take care of them or have them move in with you. While it’s not an easy sacrifice to make, it is one that supports your partner and your relationship in a positive way.

    But love doesn’t always have to be a sacrifice. If your partner’s actions suggest that you should sacrifice your mental health, emotional wellbeing, integrity, or safety, you can say no or even walk away. Those sacrifices do not benefit you or your relationship, and you don’t have to make them.

    More often, love is a compromise. While sacrifices are often one-sided, compromises are usually more equal. Sacrifices are a result of big life changes; compromises represent the day-to-day decisions that make a relationship run smoothly. For example, if you and your partner have children, you might compromise on carpool duty. Maybe you adjust your morning schedule to start your day 30 minutes later so you can drop them off at school. To make it a compromise, your partner might adjust their afternoon schedule to leave work 30 minutes early to pick them up from school.



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    Of course, every relationship and set of circumstances is different. When faced with a disagreement or a bump in the road, it’s up to you to decide what’s worth sacrificing, what’s worth compromising on, and what’s worth fighting for. Sometimes, the decision will be easy; others, not so much. The most important things are that both of you make sacrifices and compromises equally, and that you do them with respect for the other person and your relationship. That’s true love.


A relationship involves two people – two imperfect, selfish, independent people. When those two individuals unite, the relationship can at times feel strained or uncomfortable. Many people choose to end a partnership because of differences or an inability to cooperate. Unlike fairytales, true love stories lean very heavily on compromise and sacrifice to flourish. What are you willing to sacrifice to ensure your relationship is successful? Start with the small things!
1. Look for the unspoken words
In the initial stages of a relationship, it is easy to sit back and listen to your partner, to soak up every word spoken as the two of you get to know one another at a deeper level than mere friends. However, as a relationship progresses, it is easy to become distracted, to see your partner’s conversation as a daily necessity or task rather than a privilege. The first small sacrifice that can return your relationship to balance is taking the time to truly listen to your loved one. Listen to what is being said, both with words and without words. Sometimes the most poignant messages are sent through body language or closeness. Do not disregard your partner’s emotions; pay attention and use your time with your significant other wisely!


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2. Pay attention to needs
Your partner may not always ask for what he or she needs from you. Whether these needs are for physical well being, emotional intimacy , or deeper connection, it is important to sacrifice your tendency to look inwardly and focus on the needs of your loved one. What is it that makes them tick? Is there something getting in the way of their happiness or pleasure? It may surprise you just how positively your loved one will respond to your needs if you begin to pay attention to theirs.
3. Ask rather than tell
No person enjoys being told what to do. Whether it is a supervisor, a parent, a friend, or a partner, it is frustrating to not have a say in what consequences your actions may bring – positive or negative. Rather than simply telling your significant other how things will be or what you want,
ask ! Asking, rather than telling, will go a long way towards regaining your loved one’s respect and gratitude . An attitude of thankfulness and appreciation breeds security and trust in a relationship . You may find your partner responding in the same way towards you, and a sense of true gratitude for one another will develop.


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4. Use your words wisely
In addition to being willing to ask, it is important to use words wisely. Words have power; they can raise a person up or tear them down. To pursue a healthy and happy relationship , it is important for your words to speak life to your partner. There will be times of anger, disagreement , frustration, and hardship, but it is during those times that it is most important to monitor the words you use. Once said, they cannot be taken back or erased. Forgiveness should be plentiful in a relationship, but forgiveness does not always heal the wound words can create. It is a small sacrifice to be mindful of the words you choose to speak to your partner, but it is a sacrifice that will make a world of difference.
5. Take care of yourself
Lastly, as important as it is to make sacrifices for your partner, you cannot do so if you do not take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Regular exercise, time spent renewing your energy, good sleep, and expression of emotions are all essential parts to leading a balanced lifestyle. The happier you are with your own presence and countenance, the more confident your partner will feel in their ability to trust in and rely on you. Do not overindulge in this time, as that can cause distance and separation from your partner – but be mindful of when you are feeling empty or in need of time spent alone. Ignoring this need can cause you to unnecessarily reflect your frustration on your loved one when he or she is not at fault. Take the time to be the best you can be, not for yourself, but for the person you love and with whom you have chosen to spend your life!


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