COMMITMENT AND CONSISTENCY
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.” – William Hutchinson Murray
“Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.” – Norman Vincent Peale
“A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.” – Mark Twain
I know of couples who are not at all happy together and get nothing pleasurable out of their relationship. Each day is misery. The lady complains about how careless, unloving, and selfish her partner is. The guy complains about how he doesn’t care about her and that she is so nagging. They have little positive feelings towards one another. Why then do the individuals remain in a relationship?
The commitment and consistency rule states that once we make a decision, we will experience pressure from others and ourselves to behave consistently with that decision. You can be pressured into making either good or bad decisions depending on your past actions. In a relationships context, the commitment and consistency principle is a destroyer of having a clear decision to break up .
FORGETTING THE VOWS YOU BOTH MADE AT THE ALTER.
FORGETTING THE VOWS YOU BOTH MADE AT THE ALTER.
Put yourself in an individual’s shoes who is experiencing extremely negative emotions towards his or her partner and think about how the commitment and consistency principle would influence your decision to stay in the relationship. Perhaps you have children, possessions, or family who are close together that pressure you to not break up. All these influences do not need to explicitly encourage you to not break up. Rather, they indirectly influence you to not break up because doing so would destroy the consistency which is present in your life. It would be disrupting, uncomfortable, and bewildering to break up.
In most healthy relationships, couples will go through these 4 levels of commitment as their relationship grows.
1. COMMITMENT TO BE EMOTIONALLY MONOGAMOUS
This usually happens gradually over time 1 or 2 months into the dating or “seeing each other” period if the signs are positive & the relationship is growing.
There is usually no express communication as to the level of commitment at this stage because the couple is still getting to know each other better, it will occur naturally & gradually as the couple begin to open up more to each other and rely on each other emotionally.
2. COMMITMENT TO WORK TOGETHER ON THE RELATIONSHIP
This level of commitment happens where a couple has gotten to know each other sufficiently to know that they could be the right one for each other and would like to give the relationship a serious try.
Most of us would refer to this as a commitment to be “In A Relationship” or “Going Steady”.
ALSO READ: HAUNTING SHADOWS
ALSO READ: HAUNTING SHADOWS
This is a rather serious level of commitment and it is not recommended for couples to rush into it before the both of you are ready because if the relationship doesn’t work out, someone might get seriously hurt.
Hence, it is important your couples to spend sufficient time getting to know each other better and finding out whether you are compatible with each other before committing into a relationship.
3. COMMITMENT TO GET READY FOR MARRIAGE
Once the couple has built the relationship to a level where they are ready to consider spending the rest of their lives together or the prospect of starting a family together, this level of commitment is required to overcome the challenges of settling down and starting a family together, which might involve family planning, financial planning or dealing with each other’s families.
4. COMMITMENT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIVES TOGETHER
Life is a long and exciting journey that is full of ups and downs, and you will need this commitment to be able to go through the bad times and good times together. But when you have it, the journey would be amazingly beautiful.
“Commitment is like the glue that holds a relationship together through storms and tribulations…”THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH SOMEONE BEFORE YOU DATE THEM
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